6 Ways To Beat A Bully
- Joseph Bonner Show
- May 13, 2017
- 5 min read
Many of you know that bullying is a global problem very close to my heart, and with the recent viral stories surrounding it this week, I decided that this would be a good week to provide timely reminders on how to successful stand against bullying as a child, parent, educator and or school administrator.
For the full details on this list, I strongly encourage you to listen to my latest show surrounding the issue.
#1. Peer Anti-Bullying Buddy
What is a Peer Anti-Bullying Buddy? Simply put, it is someone who your youth can turn to at school that can support them on confronting bullying situations when there is no adult around. Many children see other kids getting bullied and are afraid to say something, fearing that they could get hurt. It makes sense. Kids do things in groups. They eat, play and learn in a group setting. It's not suprising then to see that many of them walk away from situations they see or simply don't speak up. The Peer Anti-Bullying Buddy is someone they can turn to at school to comfort a bullying situation and not be as intimidated. This would be an excellent program created by me to incorporate in the schools. Children a part of the program can have on pins, badges or shirts that will let those around them know that they are a Peer Anti-Bullying Buddy. This will allow them to be accessible to their peers in the event that bullying is observed and they are called on to assist. It will take a community effort on the part of our youths to put an end to bullying. This program would tremendously help.
#2. Talk To An Adult You Trust Or Write A Letter
You young people are absolutely precious and loved by many in the community and many of you have at least one adult you feel somewhat comfortable talking about your problems with. If you find it too hard to talk about your problems, why not write a letter to a trusted adult about the situation and how it's making you feel Give it to them. Once you write out your feeling and tell someone you trust, it can often be a good start to finding a solution to your unique bullying situation. Why not write it out tonight!
#3. Parents, Validate Your Child's Concerns
It's important for parents and adults to validate the bullying concerns of their children. How do you do that? You need to first acknowledge their concerns, let you know you will do everything in your power to help them. It does not validate a child's concerns when we as parents tell them to "tough it out," or say things like "don't cry," or "don't cry about it." Comments like these inadvertently suggest that the one with the problem is 'your child,' and not the bully. Comments like this only exasperates a youth and will add stress to the situation. Remember, not everyone responds the same way to a situation. We all have our different personalities. One child may be able to shrug something off while another child may commit suicide over it. The reality is you can't really say which one your child is because you don't' know their every thought and experience. So validate your child's concerns and then follow through and do everything in your power to protect them.
#4. Save Your Child
Do not expect the school to save your child if bullying intensifies or worsens. You must set in and do whatever is legally necessary to protect your child including but not limited to the following.
Pursue legal action against the bully Pursue legal action against the school Pull your child out of the school Pull your child out of the state Disconnect the internet from your home (Online Bullying) Seek professional help (Be advised that professional help is not a fix all. As a parent, you still are the #1. the source of support for your child. Have daily conversations with your child.) Volunteer weekly with your child in a program that will help them get their mind off their troubles by helping someone else.
This is not an exhaustive list but you get the idea. Do whatever you have to do to save your child.
#5. Teachers, Enforce the Rules
You educators have one of the most difficult jobs in the world and you are loved and valued for that. It is important that you set clear rules to how bullying will be handled in your classroom and be sure to follow through.
For example, it if a child is bullying another child you may have a list of consequences like this.
1st Time: Verbal Warning 2nd Time: Detention + Phone Call Home 3rd Time: Suspension + Parent Conference with Administrator 4th Time: Expulsion
You may think that the 4th time seems pretty extreme. But it's more extream when a child commits suicide because of being harassed and called names by their peers.
Shielding a child, no matter how young, from the consequence of their actions will not help them in the long run. It will only exasperate the problem.
So even if you particularly like the child, do not protect them from discipline. They may not understand now, but they will thank you for it in the future.
Now, obviously you probably have little control over the expulsion process so here is where we switch gears to administrators.
6. Administrators, Enforce Your Zero Tolerance Bullying Policy
We know that all schools have a "Zero Tolerance Bullying Policy." The sad reality is that it is rarely enforced. You have schools that have suspended children multiple times over bullying situations and have still not taken the steps to expel the child.
As a reporter, I have interview parents involved in national bullying cases and in some case, the "Zero Tolerance Bullying Policy" was not enforced.
If you want your teachers to be successful at combating bullying, you need to have a specific order of disciplinary action taken against bullying, minor or serious. Why do I say minor or serious? Because a minor bullying situation to you may be a serious one in a child's eyes and may lead them to commit suicide. This is why you have to be careful not to minimize a bullying situation.
We are living in different times and this requires the different measure to protect out children. Do you agree? Then Empower your teachers with clear and defined consequences to follow if a child is a found out to be bullying another child and then train them on how to enforce those rules.
No school district wants to end up on CNN because of bullying, but parents are becoming wise on how to utilize the media to bring to light flaws in school policies. Protect yourself but more above all, protect our children.
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